Making a Beauty of the Beast

When I was a tiny girl, televised car shows showed shapely, scantily-clad, young women dangling themselves over vehicles.  This behavior utterly confused my childish mind.

Finally, I matured enough to understand that the consumer was supposed to confound lust for the luscious woman with lust for the vehicle.  Being a logical child I naturally deduced – from this evidence – that only men and lesbians purchased cars.

Since I believe there is much truth in old ways, I decided to explore this historic vehicle-related paradigm.  My intent was to discover an inexpensive way to make my 1965 Ford F100 pickup look more attractive (despite its oxidized paint).

The 1970s approach was clearly the most economical way to improve the truck’s appeal.  Therefore, I decided to drape a female over the hood.  However, supermodels are expensive – it is a profession in which women are well paid – so I surveyed the available females in my home.  Unfortunately, the cockatiel is untrustworthy outdoors, and the long-necked African turtle is exceptionally timid.  That left me as the only female candidate for the job.

Now it is my turn to acknowledge that the comely young women of past car shows were possessed of unappreciated skills and determination.  Consider the challenges they had to overcome:

• Climbing up to great height.

  

• Placing themselves on cold metal in skimpy apparel. (I could not emulate this state of undress because I am susceptible to chills.  It has nothing to do with having a 50+ year old body.)

  

• Smiling inanely at their employers and customers, whom they surely did not respect.
• Biting their tongue.
• Looking pretty.  (If I hadn’t been squinting into the sun, I would’ve totally aced this.)

  

So you see, there were always women worthy of respect and admiration in the automotive industry.

However, if you are employed in the automotive industry today, I strongly advise against wearing a bikini to work.

To view more posts about the 1965 Ford F100 pickup, visit The Numerate Ninny at: https://thenumerateninny.comT